We have a winner for the most click-baity Seattle Kraken headline of the offseason! (And oh boy was it a stiff competition.)
Makes you want to read more, right? That’s been the purpose of headlines as long as there’s been headlines. The difference these days is that attention-grabbing headlines often misrepresent the story they’re attached to.
I’m not picking specifically on this The Hockey News Kraken story, posted to Yahoo on Aug. 26. We’re in the age of “Search Engine Optimization” where clicks equal cash. It’s the same reason other headlines SHOUT at us in all caps – a desperate plea to cut through the noise and get noticed.
This usually indicates that THE SIZZLE is trying by volume alone to cover for the fact there’s very little meat on the bone.
The phrase, “The first casualty of war is truth,” may go all the way back to ancient Greece. 2,500 years later, turns out online headlines ain’t so good for truth’s health, either.
How Exactly Did Kraken Center Take ‘Stunning Turn’?
Shane Wright, the young Kraken center, has been the subject of speculation all summer. His agent requested a trade, and indicated agreement from general manager Jason Botterill. So this story must concern the dramatic outcome of those rumors. Right?
Now, we all know what “stunning” means. If Wright gets traded to the San Antonio Spurs for Victor Wembanyama, that would be stunning. I mean, Wemby’s both a scorer and a shot-blocker. If Shane decides to ditch hockey and become an airline pilot, that would be stunning. The former 2022 1st round pick does know something about turbulence.
But nothing in the body of the story contains anything stunning – or even mildly interesting – or even current. The story is basically that the Kraken are looking for the right deal. In other news, water is wet and the sun rises in the East.
Quotes from the story:
- “I think they’ll be patient in terms of getting the right fit for a deal.”
- “They’re not going to trade him for nothing.”
- “If I’m the Kraken, I want to hold on to Wright as long as I can, I guess.”
Now here’s the sour cherry on top. Even though the headline mentions training camp and is dated Aug. 26, the comments from the above bullet points are several months old, before the Olympics. No wonder the headline smells.
That One Weird Trick
As promised, here’s the miracle solution to clickbait and ALL CAPS headlines. Ignore them.
What? That’s common sense, not a weird trick, and has nothing whatsoever to do with doctors.
Gotcha.
Earlier Seattle:
— Who The Kraken Heck Is … Ryden Evers
